tadaa !

Surprise !

I just thought this word should always go with 'tadaa'.

Anyways, whoever remembers the most random things that you said and does the most random things to fulfill your most random unfulfilled wishes - is a sweet pie.

Whoever acts like he can't make a decision to where to go to and suddenly turns around and give you a surprise that caught you off guard - is a sweetheart.

I was thrilled. One of the treasured moments. Thank you.

.

Was browsing through YouTube and saw some amazing talents, child music prodigy. Gave me goosebumps.

Here's a good piece. Spring from Vivaldi Four Seasons. Enjoy!

Tears are unspoken emotions,

PeiNing.

Paranoid or not?

Speak Now - Taylor Swift

I'm starting to develop this phobia of going to Wisma HELP's LC. You must be wondering why. There's no monster there. Its not creepy there. Yes its a little damp and quiet.

Thanks to the two security guard whom I got scared of. One of the older guards constantly greets me with this very flirtatious tone whenever I pass by there and sometimes even scrutinizes at what I wear, from top to bottom. I'm scared. I'm not happy with it.. But out of politeness, I am forced to reply his pervertness with a brief smile. Sometimes, I will pretend not to see him nor hear him call out at me and just sprint pass him yet he will still try his hardest to get my attention. Can't he see the fear in my eyes? Insensitive bastard. I labelled him the 'pervert'.

The other guard, whom I presume is a sort of newer guard was okay initially. Until one time, when I was sitting peacefully at one of the bench waiting for my dad to come pick me up, he called upon me and asked me loads of questions that are none of his business. He asked what course I'm doing in HELP, who comes to pick me up, where I live, all my personal details that should not be uncovered to strangers like himself. But out of politeness, I replied while trying to put up a facade and when he finally shut his mouth, I turned back and made myself a disgusted face.

So till this day, my heart starts palpitating whenever my dad stops his car at the entrance, knowing that I have to walk pass these two men with much distress and unwillingness. You might ask me to file a complaint on them guards but no, I won't. Maybe I am being paranoid. Maybe they just did what they do out of politeness, like how I will entertain them out of politeness as well. Maybe they are just bored with their mundane job and had to find something to do. Just maybe. And of course I pray hard that I'm just being paranoid. Oversensitive and hyper vigilant. I hope I am wrong about them.

For the record, my packages arrived in all universities on time on the 28th February. SAFELY. Now wait for these universities to evaluate my application and accept me. *fingers crossed*

And in the meantime, SUNY Plattsburgh sent me an email saying that they accept me. Some technical problems to solve first though, including my official TOEFL score.

I should stop sulking over my inability to tackle the psychology midterm papers, instead, wait for the results to be out to decide whether to sulk or not.

Even if you break me into half or shatter me into a million tiny pieces, every bit of me remains yours. I don't want anybody else to have me, except for you.

I love you xx

Trapped.

Picture credit : Nicholas Lim

Pei Ning.

Little roses for love.

So today, some BComm students organized an event to spread love. As long as you contribute by writing a love note on a post-it and put it up on the board provided, then you can get a beautiful rose for free!

Oh yes. It was a really generous thing. They did it for their class project. But hey! Many were enjoying the beautiful roses. Including me of course.

College started early and sleepy. Caught up with some A Levels friends and then went out for brunch with Michelle at O'Briens. Had some quality time. Yes my first time to that place after *counts using finger* ... a year and 2 months? Massive fail.

Back to KPD E and the 'love booth' was up! So Justin was one of the first to write a love note saying "MROAR!!" and he got me a red rose. How sweet. It bloomed so beautifully that I was mesmerized by it. For real. I got him a champagne colored rose but it was kinda droopy. Unfortunately. Not many choices left to pick from.

We ended up being hooked on a LOVE topic based on 'what is love'. My love note was 'love is not love without love' Mind-fked eh? Yeah its nonsensical, redundant, but true in a way. So they started tweeting all those horny things about love on Imani's twitter. Poor girl. People may start thinking she's horny now.

'Love is men. Naked men.' 'Love is falling lingerie.' 'Love is when you go mroar and jump.' 'Love is something hard.' 'Love is wet.' 'Love is down there.' What?

Everything that came out from our mouths simply don't make sense and are certainly horny stuffs. But nonetheless, we enjoyed it. Certainly a day to remember. Something to miss about ADP and college when I'm gone. Some day.

Mr. Ho was indeed, scary as usual. Well, he's gotten more strict these days. Hmm... What else?

Oh and Jeremy Choy complimented on my so called hidden talent in dancing. For real? He's so pro in dancing and he said I have the style, swag, something to pull of in dance. Oh well, no one actually told me that so I'm kinda a little in seventh heaven. And I tried the so called laughing gas. No it didn't work on me. I didn't laugh my head off. Everything is still well attached to me body. Instead, that thing that I breathed in, cause me a headache for a while. Feeling? Not good. So it will be the only time that I'll try. I'll probably try it some other time to see if it has an effect, when everyone's laughing that is. Maybe its conformity. Yes definitely.

After class, hung out with Derrick and Amanda. Even now, I'm still in a group chat with them. It feels so good to just talk to them. Somehow. They are nice people. :D Me likey...

Oh that's all I guess. I need to work on my assignment due on Friday tomorrow... Staying up late at night? I guess so. *shrugs*

And I'm out. Nights.

Pei Ning.

sleep deprivation 101

La Fille aux cheveux de lin (The Girl with the Flaxen Hair) - Claude Debussy

As the title suggests, I have been having serious sleep deprivation these days due to the Psychology midterm for Abnormal and Developmental. Clearly, I can't possibly be continuing on to be like that or I'll seriously die young.

Spent the whole of last week and the entire weekend trying to study for the exam. Was seriously worried about Abnormal so I emphasized more on that. Heck, till Sunday that I realized I barely touched Developmental. There goes my confidence towards the subject.

Abnormal turned out rather okay for me with some tough questions here and there.
The four of us entered the hall and sat down comfortably. As I was shading the mcq paper, I vividly heard Amanda whispering at me and I almost scowled at her in disapproval. Then she pointed at the white board that says "Life and Leadership Skills". Dead. The moment I saw that, my heart sank. So that left us packing our things, ditching our bags behind and ran across the room like lost and panic chickens, trying to find where the heck our exam venue was supposed to be. Didn't lose any minutes or started late but the nerves did had some effect. Raced with time to the completion of the exam. Stress. No one left early if I was not mistaken. That was how it was.

Developmental, in the meanwhile, was hell for me. I literally had almost all the 55 mcq questions circled at the number because I wasn't sure of the answers. While for the subjective part where we were required to do the matrices. I stared at it. I did not do my revision on that topic thorough enough to entirely know how to answer them. Plus, the effects of the accumulated number of hours of sleep I was deprived of, started kicking in when I arrived at college in the morning. I stayed up all night to study for the subject, but heck, all of the materials that I studied did not come out in the exam! And the table I picked was imbalance, and was getting on my nerves. I almost went crazy in the middle of the exam, fighting the strong urge to not shout out loud and snatch Gilbert's paper and copy all of his answers. Poor dude was sitting on the right of me.

I was one of the last to exit the exam hall. And when I finally did, I almost fainted in front of the door after I exit the hall.

Met Cassandra and Mitchell while I was waiting for my mum to come pick me up from the hell hole and KO-ed the moment I reached home.

For the second day consecutively I did not bring my mobile phone to college. I guess part of my brain cells are already dead. Fried. Burned. Barbecued. Anyone care for some roasted neurons?

Yes and this week is hell for me. I'm surprised how I can survive the first two days of the week. I had my Abnormal paper in Monday evening at 5-7pm. Developmental in Tuesday morning at 8-10am. Western Civilization quiz tomorrow, Wednesday evening 4-6pm. Developmental assignment submission on due on Friday evening at 5pm. This is worse than high school. Really.

to do list:-

- Abnormal Psychology midterm

- Developmental Psychology midterm

- Western Civilization quiz

- Developmental individual assignment

- Western Civilization individual assignment

Almost there! Hang on babe.

Evelynlpn

Day of Atonement.

Fireflies - Owl City

Felt like I was preparing myself for war. All the supportive documents to be submitted, racing with time to make sure that my things will reach the states on time before the deadline. Really chaotic. And s t r e s s.

It sucked up 70 percent of my energy preparing all these stuffs and worrying about them. Not a fun process to go through. Much hustle as well.

After submitting my application forms and paying the application fees online, I will officially be free of any application procedures. Bad thing is that I will be all helpless by then and can do nothing but to wait for any uni's acceptance letter. Just one university will do and will keep me safe from being a college dropout. Oh gosh does that sound like those sound effects from a horror movie or what? *shivers*

Picking my packages up and handing them to registry. I hope my application make it on time for the March 1st uni deadlines. *fingers crossed*

So the next thing to be all stressed out about is Psychology midterm. Yes. Midterm again. Seems like its so fast. College started, then CNY break and now midterm. What's next? Assignments. Oh great! *grunts*

Whoever says college life very slack? Well, I do tell people that it is slack cause it does has its own slack time, just that it doesn't always lasts long. Note to self of not to procrastinate never seem to register, nor accomplished. Massive, epic failure.

Night out with Khai Sern, Jit Sun and Oei Keong was nice. Went back to Edu Smart to see Accounts teacher, Ms. Lim, Uncle Chan and Pn. Molly. They were so happy to see us, though Pn. Molly can barely remember me and Uncle Chan has completely no clue who the heck I am. Got a nice warm hug from Accounts teacher. Aww... Massive aww. Unexpected.

Planned to walk over to go say hi to Physics teacher, Mr. Yeoh but due to his massive class volume, we doubt he recognizes us so we chickened out. :D

No point disturbing the class anyways when we anticipated that the teacher will have no clue who we are.

As usual, Uncle Chan was preaching the students with his usual, cliche lines like "sow and you will reap (whatever crap)" and "train of thoughts". Really liked that moment when Pn. Molly was trying to recall my name and Khai Sern was interrupting beside, suggesting weird non-existent names like Kimberly for Pn. Molly. And I just shushed Khai Sern by saying, "Don't break the train of thoughts." Indirect sarcasm of Uncle Chan's favorite line and Pn. Molly burst into laughter right after that.

Yum Cha at Kayu. Two hours of non-stop conversations and laughters can totally wear a person out. But when I was back home at 11pm, watched half an hour of American Idol and I'm back to studying. Sigh. Took the whole 4 hours to finish 20 pages. That's how fast my studying speed is.

MASSIVE FAILURE ALERT!!

Its kinda late now already. I shall post this up and decide whether to continue since I'm still quite awake yet sleepy. What the hell am I talking about?

Okay fine, maybe I can't think straight no more. Sleep it is.

Goodnight peeps!

Falling down ain't falling down if you don't cry when you hit the floor.

Evelyn Lee.

I thought... Not!

The day started fine. All the usual hang out sessions before classes plus me, getting all hyped up and excited for the fact that I can finally submit my documents to Ms. Naini the next day and get over with university application.

Alas, came home to sort out everything and found out that I have lots of incomplete stuffs and incomplete documents and lots of other stuffs to worry about.

My stress level peaked for the entire night and I'm practically mind-fried right now.

*its 1.11 now. Let me just make my wish first before continuing.

Okay. So I was literally overwhelmed with all the emotions and the workload to deal with.

I'm quite numb now already. All I am capable of doing is to curse at the wind to ease my throbbing worries and bursting emotions. I feel like I need to be heard, yet I don't know how to express myself.

Texting Amanda seemed to be one of the good remedies as I bombarded her with loads of questions about uni application. She seemed glad and nice enough to solve my problems and to ease my worries. One of the thousands of reasons why I love her so much and like hanging out with her.

So she said, "You're like bustling about calling my name in a teenie weenie voice." When I called her name and started asking my questions.

So she said, "You foul mouthed vulgarity spewing pirate style cursing lol toooooot." When I told her how badly I need to curse.

She's like a big sister to me, one way or the other, calming my nerves and constantly reminds me how much I need to stop procrastinate and start studying. Amanda, you're my motivation! I love you! :D

*puts up the serious face* I'm serious.

*puts up the joking face* But no worries.

*puts up the serious face* I'm straight.

How badly I need a hug right now? So bad I will go to sleep now and get one in my dreams.

Doodleloo,

your immature friend.

telepathy senses danger.

Geu Nal Ee Hoo Ro - Sung Si Kyung

Valentines passed by uneventfully for me. Just like the past 17 years of my life.

Though I hope many of you out there enjoyed your dates, blind dates, whatever you attended yesterday.

My Valentines Day was rather exciting though, with all the morning West Civ class, brain wrenching calculus class and evening class for Abnormal Psych. And my first assignment of the semester was due on Valentines Day itself.

I skipped half of Abnormal Psych class, cause my usual favorite lecturer wasn't the one teaching, instead, an amateur female young lady was giving the lecture. I didn't like the way she presented the lecture, for the way she tried to speak fast, but stuttered a lot along the way and awkward pauses in between. Need not say, her voice was a turn off. Well, not exactly a turn off but didn't appeal to me as a student. Didn't interest me. Unfortunately.

The worst thing was that she introduced a group work thing and required one representative from each group to present the work done. What? So that left Amanda, Alicia and I escaping out from class and sat outside of the lecture hall chatting.

Alicia was filling us about her ghostly encounters and we were talking about topics, way interesting than what the lecture going on in the hall beside us has got to offer. Nevertheless, Alicia's abrupt leaving scattered the group and we went our individual ways. Nice catch up session. :)

.

The whole route home was jam packed. Why so? :'(

Suddenly, the uncle that was very close to my family decided to come to my house for dinner. It felt like reunion dinner all over again, cause his surname was Lee as well and our ancestors were from the same kampung back in China, so it felt like there was an invisible bond in between.

The rest of the night was spent drinking Chinese tea and getting trashed at Tetris Battle by Nicholas especially. Epic.

Went to sleep feeling like a complete loser feeling utter crappy.

So that was my Valentines Day. How was yours?

LeePeiNing.